Lord, What I’m receiving is not enough. Not because You are lacking — but because I know there is more. I don’t want to be content with routine. I don’t want two good days after Sunday and struggle by Wednesday. I want depth. I want consistency. I want Your presence beyond atmosphere. How much do I love You? How much do I truly want You? Not feelings. Not emotion. Not performance. More of You. If that means discipline, let it cost me. If that means surrender, teach me. I don’

My Lord, my God— Without faith it is impossible to please You. For we must come believing that You are, and that You are a rewarder of those who diligently seek You (Hebrews 11:6). But how do we do that? How do I do that? How do I surrender? Is surrender silence — or is it boldness? Grant me the courage to speak in faith. And if some have ears to hear — let them hear. I repent. I change my mind. Now change my ways. Transform my heart. Correct my eyes. Realign my desires — eve

My body felt expressive. Like something was pressing forward through me. I don’t know how long it lasted. And then it happened. Everything shifted. I saw light. Not a metaphor. Not imagination. Light. Brighter than sunrise. Not warm. Not soft. Overwhelming. And I knew where I was. The throne room. I could see the right side of the Father — not clearly, but enough to know. And I saw Jesus seated there. I couldn’t make out His features because it was too bright. But I saw His f

“If you have no expectations, you’ll never be disappointed.” I used to think that sounded wise. Safe. Mature, even. But sitting with it now, it feels like a quiet resignation—like choosing emotional survival over honest living. I didn’t stop expecting because I became enlightened. I stopped expecting because I was tired. Tired of carrying responsibility alone. Tired of initiating conversations I didn’t want to have. Tired of hoping someone would meet me where I was, only to f

J ust a closer walk with thee, grant it Jesus is my plea, to be like You - so full of love - kindly pouring blessings from above. E very knee and every tongue, in allegiance to the Son, on our knees in worship and song, glory-honor-and-praise our God is three-in-one. S avior, savior whom I adore - I’ll seek your Holy Words forevermore - I am a cup overflowing and seasoned with Your Grace - I called out to you and You answered without delay. U ndoubtedly this world belongs

My story is just a love story between Him and me. How He is always on my mind, and how I love everything about Him. His Words are sweet like honey, and mighty like a sharp sword. I long for constant fellowship, because it feels as if it is just You and me against the world. I say that because everything seems to try to keep us from spending time together. And that makes me want to give up—to hide. Just You and me. Where my spirit can rejoice in You. Where the pressure and the

Personal journals, entries, prayers, and moments of wrestling with God.